Destination # 16 - Maine

Maine! I've always been a little curious about Maine. To me, it's one of those states that you don't actually hear a lot about until you do and then you want to hear more because it's a peculiar little (only not so little at all as it turns out) place. My friend from RI has a family lake cabin up in Rangely, Maine that we were fortunate enough to be invited to visit on this recent New England adventure. We road tripped it from Providence RI up through MA, NH and deep into the back woods of western Maine to a little town by a big lake called Rangley. Rangely's tag line is "a quiet little drinking town with a big Moose problem." When said friend laid out our options for activities; "you can go fishin', you can go moosin' or you can go hikin'", I was immediately sold and insisted that we do all three. Due to the weather, however, which I will expound upon shortly, we were only able to do two of the three, for fear of sinking the boat. Wild moose (is there any other kind?) make up the primary resident population in Rangely, Maine. "Moosin'" involves getting up at dawn and driving down a road looking for moose that have come out of the woods to lick the salt off of rocks in the boggy areas. She guaranteed that we would see a moose on our visit and we did not fail. We saw two, in fact, and MAN those creatures are big (weighing up to 1,500 Ibs) and ugly, and as I understand it, rather ferocious, especially in the late summer and autumn seasons when the bull's massive antlers are fully grown (average 6.5-7.5 feet) and they fight each other for access to the female moose. I'll admit that it rarely surprises me how little we humans stray from the animal kingdom. I can't help but wonder if the male moose bulls fight over lesbian moose too or just the straight and particularly slutty ones?

We couldn't go fishing because it rained. A LOT! OH MY GOD DID IT RAIN! People! I have lived in Seattle, WA. for the past 15 years, arguably the wettest and dreariest state in the U.S. and I have never seen so much collective, non-stop, crazy ass flippin' rain in my life. It didn't just rain. It POURED buckets of water from the sky for 82 straight hours, without a single reprieve. I do not jest or exaggerate. We thus referred to the first half of our trip as "The Great New England Soakah!"

I did not, however, let the rain stop me from going on a quick jaunt along the Appalachian Trail (a.k.a. "the A T" if you're cool like that). It's always been a dream of mine to hike a piece of the AT and a sheet of water falling from the sky was not going to stop me. Bucket list item complete! It was a beautiful and wet 500 foot hike, indeed.

Maine is similar to our gorgeous Western Washington as it is lush and green and dense with flora and fauna. One of the most charming moments of our stay in Rangely, Maine was when our waitress noted that there must be hundreds of dead bodies hidden in the woods of Maine, "right outside this door" in fact! As if this were a very common, well-known thing. Like... DUH! Although I must admit that now that I've seen the back woods of Maine, I would totally hide a dead body there if the need ever arose. I'm just sayin'... ayuh!

Are you wondering if I'm ever going to talk about the damn food? Yah, me too. But first let me just give a quick commentary on the accents because they are FAN-FRICKIN'-TASTIC! For a blow by blow tutorial on how to speak like a Mainah, check out this site. "Ayuh" is the commen affirmation in Maine. As in, yes, agreed, sure, noted, uh-huh, etc.. You have to say it real low-key and monotone like though otherwise it won't work. "Wicked" is also a neccessary descriptor for most everything in Maine. Here is a sample sentence.

"Course that blizzahd they had the lahst night theyah was a wicked pissah, ayuh!"

But enough about that.

The obvious thing to do for Maine would be lobstah, however, we didn't wish to risk ruining a perfectly good and perfectly expensive lobstah in attempt to cook one when we really had no idea what-so-ever what we were doing. So instead we turned to the next thing down the glamour scale from lobstah; hot dogs! Seriously, people. Hot dogs! Red hot dogs to be exact which is specifically a Maine style hot dog with a natural casing and dyed a bright red/kinda hot pinkish color. Why? Because Mainah's are WEIRD! Red hot dogs are served in a quintessentially New England style top split bun which I must admit is a superior bun to our side split hot dog buns out here (or everywhere else for that matter.)

Recipe for Maine style red hot dogs:
Purchase red hot dogs from a grocery store in Maine
Cook them up however suits your fancy
Shove them into a top split hot dog bun
Eat yah face off, ayuh!

Maine is awesome! Lobstah, weird-ass hot dogs, top split buns, dead bodies in the woods pride, beautiful views, the Appalachian Trail, lobstah rolls (lobstah served in a top split hot dog bun, ayuh!) and lastly, the best accents evah!

Destination # 15 - Rhode Island

This will be our first "Culinary Road Trip" project destination where we actually cooked and ate the food while physically in the location featured here. Drake and I just returned from a whirl-wind trip where we basically ate our faces off through all of New England (Maine, Rhode Island, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Massachusetts) and New York. We sampled many new dishes which I hope to capture here and in future blog postings and generally were entirely impressed with the cuisine of our New England friends. We were visiting a foodie friend born and raised in Rhode Island and therefore an expert as to the local cuisine of RI and all of the neighboring states. This stuff is about as legit as it comes, people. No research needed.

A dish absolutely unique to Rhode Island is “Johnny Cakes”. WTF are Johnny Cakes, you might ask? Well, lemme tell ya! Johnny Cakes are essentially pancakes made out of a cornmeal based batter. There are some differing opinions as to whether you serve them with syrup or simply with butter but opinions aside, they are definitely a breakfast food and a darn tasty one at that. Similar to our Aunt Jemima pre-made pancake batter here, you purchase a box of the dry mix (only to be found in RI) and mix it with a bit of sugar, salt and hot water to form a batter the consistency of regular pancake batter. Drop those by the tablespoon and grill them up on a hot griddle and top with butter and/or syrup. They both look and taste delicious! They reminded us a bit of a fried polenta cake; crispy on the outside and creamy and buttery on the inside. I love the name "Johnny Cakes." I like saying it a little fast with some pizazz and accompanied by jazz hands. Try it! "JOHNNY CAKESSzzzz!" I think I'll write a song on my Ukulele dedicated to Johnny Cakes. When it makes it to the top of the charts, I promise to host my first concert in RI.

Recipe for Johnny Cakes
Purchase box of Johnny Cake dry mix (which can only be found in RI)
Follow directions on the box precisely
Eat your face off






Other popular foods found in Rhode Island are non-cream based chowders, (a.k.a. "chowdah"), quahog clams (a Rhode Island essential), clam cakes (made with those same Quahogs) and "stuffies" which appear to be a twice-baked potato stuffed into a clam shell, but it's not! The uniquely Rhode Island clam stuffie is a bready mix of chopped clams, celery, onions, peppers, parsely, lemon, garlic, and at times, Portuguese sausage baked in a big quahog clam shell. Due to the prominent presence of Portuguese folk in RI, Portuguese sausage (a.k.a. chorizo) is another common food item. Our friend made us New England style BBQ baked beans with chorizo one night for dinner and it was to die for. Permit me to go back and spend a minute here on clam cakes. HOLY SHIT STICKS THOSE SUCKAHS ARE GOOD! If I were shameful enough to admit it, which I am, I'd say that that clam cake was the best thing I put into my mouth during our 10 days of eating some of the most amazing food ever. I should note that I am not a big fan of clams. I occasionally will eat them in chowder but never in the raw by themselves or in any other form. I would *never* have ordered these clam cakes on my own but we went out for a big family dinner with my friends' family and RI native dad ordered a dozen clam cakes for the table. I was immediately nervous, knowing that I was going to have to be an adventurist and try one and then figure out how I was going to spit it out into my napkin without 8 relatively sophisticated people at the table seeing me. When a plate of steaming giant fried dough-balls arrived at the table, I started to salivate. These things are made up of a special batter that makes for doughy, gooey, delicious balls of fried goodness. I didn't even taste the clams but was assured that they were in there. I made the rookie mistake of trying to cut into one with a fork and knife which is all wrong. The natives just pull them apart with their hands bit by delicious bit and the entire experience is just AWESOME!

For a tiny little state, a barely visible blip on the map, Rhode Island has a lot to offer. We visited the multi-acre "cottages" in Newport which are magnificent and stunning. We drove along Ocean Drive with the Atlantic to our left and sprawling mansions to our right. We had a pint at the White Horse Tavern in Newport, the oldest standing bar in the U.S., opened in 1673, and we feasted on some amazing seafood. In short, I dig Lil' Rhodie!

Destination # 14 - Alaska

So... I kind of forgot that Alaska was a state within the U.S. and was just pleased as punch when Drake reminded me that it was because 1) I've been there and 2) I like fish.

My bff and side-kick since elementary school, Camper Caro, moved to Sitka Alaska on Baranof Island back in 2004, enabling me to finagle a trip for me and my Dad (who has big fish dreams) to visit her and go salmon fishing for a week on their boat. WHAT AN INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE! We fished the Sitka Sound, trolling with two rods on down riggers baited up with plugged herring and I swear we probably got a bite (or as they say in Alaska "FISH ON") about every 15 minutes. Our bounty was plentiful with several king salmon ranging from about 25-35 Ibs, white kings (which are the most delicious), ling cod, dungeness crab and deliciously sweet spot shrimp. Alaska is, in a word, breath-takingly beautiful. Sitka is surrounded by the Tongass National Forest and literally crawling with all sorts of wild life from bald eagles to salmon-carcass eating sea lions to porpoises to brown bears to humback whales and on and on and on... Feel free to visit previous posts from this blog to read more about and/or see photos from our AK trip here.

We had initially decided to do halibut as our Alaska dish, but then we went to a Farmer's Market in a port town in WA. and stumbled across a guy who was selling fish that he caught himself from AK. He sold us on ling cod which is a hugely popular catch in AK. and made just as much sense for our food blog project.

Grilled Alaska Ling Cod Marinade

1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1 tsp. minced lemon zest
1/8 cup Dijon mustard
2 TBS finely chopped tarragon
1 TBS finely chopped chives
1/4 cup olive oil
1/8 tsp. black pepper
1 lb Ling Cod

Garnish: lemon slices and tarragon sprigs

Combine the lemon juice, lemon zest, mustard, tarragon, and chives in a small mixing bowl slowly whisk in the olive oil until well blended. Add the pepper to taste for seasoning.
Arrange the fish pieces in a large, shallow glass dish. Pour the marinade over, coating all the pieces evenly. Marinate 1/2 to 2 hours.

Prepare barbecue for medium heat grilling. Grill approx 5-7 minutes per side or until done. Garnish with lemon slices and parsley.

Drakey's "Everything but the Kitchen Sink Salad"


3 cups ORSO spinach leaves
3 slices ORSO crumbled bacon
3/4 ORSO of a thinly sliced red bell peppers
1/4 Cup ORSO finely chopped green onions
Crumbled cojita cheese (hey - it's what we had in the house)
Croutons made out of left over cornbread muffins

We dressed the salad with once around the bowl olive oil and once around the bowl vinegar.

Bon Appetit! and p.s. if you ever get a chance to get to Alaska, take it! You won't regret it.

Destination # 13 - Maryland

Maryland is one of those states out yonder somewhere that I have been to on random occasions once or twice (or thrice) perhaps. My last visit to Maryland was only just recently in 2010 when Drake and I took the Metro out to the first stop across the Maryland/D.C. border so that we could boast having found a Geocache in the great state of Maryland. We found 4, in fact, in a short 30 minute jaunt and thus considered it a trip well worth taking. Back when I was 18 or 19 I took a vacation to D.C. and Maryland with my boyfriend (yes; it's true, I once had one) and I remember finding Annapolis to be surprisingly charming and beautiful. I recall the "downtown" corridor to be an aesthetic brick paved street lined with double-story brick houses only the bottom story was always a merchant business of some sort with a residential household on top of it. If I were to live in a house stacked on top of a merchant, I would most certainly insist that it was a pizza joint or a bakery. I'm just sayin'. What I recall of the U.S. Navel Academy, located in Annapolis, was that I had never seen an expanse of lawn so neatly manicured nor so many men dressed in the exact same uniform, all with the exact same crew cut, the same gait, glance, demeanor, drawl, cup size, etc. It was like walking onto a movie set of Pleasantville with the same actor replicated 1,500 times playing the role of the Tin Soldier.

For Maryland our food choice was as no-brainer. Crab Cakes. Duh! We made these tonight served up with some sweet corn and some Bubbly because Bubbly is elegant and so are crab cakes (and so are my pink champagne flutes that we bought to benefit breast cancer but look shockingly like giant pink butt-plugs and thus we refer to them as such).

I should explain that the recipe here is Drakey's own creation and not to an exact science. She uses the "ORSO" unit of measurement so feel free to use your own judgement if you want more or less of any particular ingredient; or so. The cakes turned out AH-MAZING!!!

Maryland Crab Cakes - recipe courtesy of Drakey Reilly Kendermore

1 lb loose crab meat
1/2 cup mayo
1 1/8 cup ORSO crushed Club crackers
1 TB Dijon mustard
1 1/2 tsp Old Bay Seasoning
1/4 cup finely chopped green onions
1/4 cup ORSO finely chopped celery stalk
1/4 cup ORSO finely chopped red bell pepper
2 dashes of Worcestershire sauce
1 dash and a slight pause of lemon juice

Slightly mix all the ingredients together (EXCEPT FOR THE CRAB) until everything is in a rough paste. Gently fold crab in so that it is not overworked.

Heat olive oil in large saute pan until hot on medium-high heat and then turn down to medium. Form 4 patties and place them into the frying pan, cooking each side until it is golden brown; about 4-5 minutes ORSO on each side. Drain the patties on a paper towel and repeat with the remaining 4 patties.

Destination #12 - Tennessee

Tennessee is one of those states that I'm cautiously curious about. Cautious of their history, as it is noted that Tennessee has seen some of the nation's "worst racial strife" from the formation of the KKK in 1866 to the assassination of MLK in 1968 and still deeply rooted in that good ole' boy Southern Confederacy nuttiness. Curious about the amazing music scene of Nashville and Memphis; though most widely known for Country music, Tennessee was instrumental in the development of early Rock n' Roll and Blues music. LOVE ME SOME BLUES, ya'll!! Where food is concerned, there's nothing that screams Tennessee more than BBQ Ribs and there's nothing that sings of awesomeness more than a warm Spring/Summer day in the yard with your hot wife gettin' her hillbilly on, Coltrane wailing through the speakers and the delicious aroma of Cherry wood smoke permeating your hair, clothes and heart.

BBQ Smoked Pork Ribs
Rack of pork ribs
cup of apple juice

BBQ Rub (this makes a ton so either save for repeated use or recipe can be adjusted down)
1 Cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup garlic salt
1/3 cup onion salt
1/2 cup paprika
2 TBS chili powder
1 TBS cayenne pepper
1 1/2 tsp cumin
1 tsp black pepper

Cooking Instructions
Place ribs bone side up and remove the membrane to result in more tender ribs.
Generously apply rub to both sides of ribs. Pat down.
Slow smoke (we use cherry wood) for 5 hours at around 225 degrees.
Spray with apple juice occasionally to keep moist and add a slightly fruity flavor.
Ribs are done when the bones fall out.

Grilled Ceaser Salad

We had this once at one of our favorite restaurants and decided to try it ourselves. It's basically like a deconstructed Ceasar.

Pull apart the whole leaves of a head of Romaine Lettuce (or alternatively just quarter the whole head).
Toss leaves with olive oil, kosher salt and fresh ground black pepper. Toss on the grill until leaves begin to lightly char. Top with shaved parmesan and a splash of lemon. Serve warm.

Destination # 11 - Utah

Let me preface this by saying that one of the many valuable things that my mother taught me in life was that "if I didn't have anything nice to say then to not say anything at all." I can't honestly say that I have conducted my life in a manner always remaining true to these words; no... I can't say that AT ALL, actually, but in the back of my brain where my conscience lies, there's a little nagging angel whining the words of my mother "if you don't have anything nice to say then well then just don't say it at all!". WHATEVER! I tell you this anecdote, kind reader, as a poorly attempted excuse as to why I am not including hardly any information (no research, no
legitimately tried or consumed recipes) about Utah here. Because at the ripe age of 38, I have decided once and for all to heed my mother's advice and just shut the hell up. Well... mostly. Oh hell, I'm gonna TRY!

Here's what I know about Utah: MORMONS! Mormon things. Mormon $$, Mormon politics, Mormon frocks, magic Mormon underwear, and a man named Joseph Smith who found some killer antique gold plated dishware in the desert and decided that those plates were a sign from God to have sex with multiple women and take them under slave-like conditions as "celestial" wives. In the name of Jesus and the Holy Prophet, Amen! And now the Mormons are running for President of the U.S. of A! AWESOME! JUST AWESOME!

Apparently Pastrami Burgers are big hit items in Mormonville...um... I mean, Utah. Burgers cooked like any other burger and then topped with a heap of Pastrami, Swiss Cheese and Thousand Island dressing and dressed up appropriately so in a sesame seed bun (the recipe didn't mention anything about dressing up the burger in magic burger underwear so I think it was safe for heathens like us to cook and eat as well). When Drake suggested this recipe I thought to myself, "well hot damn! Something from Utah that I actually might like!" Burgers = GOOD! Pastrami = GOOD! Cheese = GOOD! Thousand Island = GOOD, non-holy Buns = EXCELLENT! A plan was hatched, the BBQ was lit and we were on our way to a blessed Mormon (shit! I mean Utah) super. Now, allow me to boast for a second here if you will, but I am a RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME Grill-Master-Baker. Seriously. I've worked hard to hone my skills at the BBQ and I take pride in perfectly cooked meats and other grilled things. So... I preheated my grill nice and hot only to come back after 20 minutes and find that it was not, in fact, nice and hot, as intended. So we switched out the propane tank thinking that it was just running low, cranked it back to high and gave it another 15 minutes. Still not very hot but I could work with this. Or so I thought. I was wrong. THOSE GOD DAMN MORMON BURGERS BROKE MY FRICKIN' GRILL! I swear it! I swear it on the Prophet and Celestial Marriage and on Gold Plated Dishware! I swear it! Those sad little burgers literally baked (slowly) on that grill for 30 minutes until I finally threw in the towel and fed them to our pet lion. Well... I don't really have a pet lion but if I did, I would have fed him the Mormon burgers because I don't think lions are all that bigoted or picky. Anyway... we took the Pastrami off and made Ruebens which were quite good but not at all associated with Utah so I'm not going to tell you how we made them here.

HERE is a link to the recipe we were ATTEMPTING to make if you'd like to try it.

I guess I failed (once again) at keeping my mouth shut re: mean things about certain religions or practices but I shall try this again in another 10 years when I'm more mature. If it makes any difference, I have ALWAYS strictly adhered to my mother's sound advice about using the proper glassware for the appropriate beverage. So at least the really important advice has stuck.

In the name of the Holy Prophet and Magic Underwear. Amen and good night!

Destination # 10 - North Dakota

Did you ever watch the movie Fargo with whats-her-name and bad teeth guy? Hands down one of the strangest and most awesomely fantastic movies ever made in my professional opinion. Fargo, "yaaa!" is about all anybody really needs to know about North Dakota. They have shit-tons of snow and awesome hunting hats with huge woolly ear flaps. Interestingly, they are the 19th most extensive, but the 3rd least populous and the 4th least densely populated of the 50 United States. Hmmm... I wonder why? The bison or buffalo (they are for the most part one and the same, at least in the U.S.) far outnumber the humans in both of the Dakotas. I've never seen a bison to my knowledge but I ate some of one tonight and it was mighty tasty, "YAAAA!" Please note that we did not hunt and kill this bison ourselves (I mean, hell, I can't even catch a damn fish) as I'd surely shoot my toes off if I ever handled a rifle and then I'd likely fall into hysteric fits of blubbering snotty sobs over the poor dead bison for taking its life, so despite the fact that I'd get to wear neon orange freely and proudly, let's just say that hunting is not really for me. I bought this thing ground and packaged up neatly in a grocery store, thank you very much.

Roasted Garlic Bison Meatloaf - recipe courtesy of Bisonbasics.com

INGREDIENTS

1 large bulb of garlic (roasted, see below for details)
1 1/2 tbsp olive oil
1 cup finely chopped onion
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 tsp ground thyme
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley (packed)
1 medium sized carrot, coarsely grated (about 1/2 cup)
1 tsp salt
1/4 - 1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1 lb ground bison (90% lean)
1 lb ground pork (70-80% lean)
1 cup fresh bread crumbs

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350F.

Heat olive oil in a pan over medium heat. Add onion and sauté until soft, about 5 to 7 minutes. Remove from heat.

In a large bowl combine the roasted garlic paste with the eggs, thyme, parsley, carrot, salt and pepper. Add the sautéed onion. Use a large fork to work in the bison and pork meat. Sprinkle in the bread crumbs as you do so.

Once all the ingredients are well combined, transfer meat mixture to a rimmed baking sheet or roasting pan. Shape mixture into a loaf (approximately 9 inches long, 5 inches wide and 2 inches high).

Bake for about an hour, or until the meatloaf has an internal temperature in the 155 to 160F range. Remove from oven and let rest for 15 to 20 minutes before slicing. Serve with chili sauce on the side.

TO ROAST GARLIC: Set oven to 375F.
Cut the tip off a large garlic bulb, or 2 smaller ones, so that the tops of the cloves are exposed.
Pour about a teaspoon of olive over the top of the bulb(s).
Wrap and seal in aluminum foil. Roast until the garlic cloves are golden in color, about 50 to 60 minutes.
Remove from oven.
Once cool, squeeze the roasted garlic paste from the bulb(s) by squeezing the bulb from the root end towards the open tip.
Add roasted garlic paste to recipe as directed.

Admittedly, I am not a huge meatloaf fan but as far as meatloafs go this one was pretty good. Moist, good crust and not overly unhealthy as Bison is a great lean alternative to beef.

All in all, not bad!